Steve Magness Talks Motivation, Goal-Setting and Guidance for Parents and Coaches

Steve Magness, a coach to some of the world’s top distance runners, is an expert on performance, mental skill development and sustainable success. He is also the author of “Do Hard Things” and “Win the Inside Game.” Magness joined Youth Inc.’s Greg Olsen for an honest conversation about motivation, goal-setting and actionable advice for parents and coaches in youth sports.

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Key Takeaways:

• Demand and responsiveness in coaching. Coaching and parenting require a balance of high expectations and genuine care. Kids need to know they are being held accountable, but they also need to feel valued as individuals. Magness says that, “The magic happens when we combine those two things. High standards, but also, we care about you and want you to get better.”
• Balancing internal and external motivation. At a young age, the balance between internal and external motivation is like a seesaw. Too much focus on external rewards can lead to burnout and loss of motivation. Therefore, it is important for the seesaw to tip slightly more towards internal motivation to foster long-term, sustainable drive.
• Process-oriented Goal Setting. Goal setting should focus on the process rather than the outcome. In Magness' words, outcome-based goals “create an end point where we have no idea where the actual endpoint is.” Instead, adopting a “quest mindset” encourages continual growth. Olsen added a simple mantra: “Get better forever.”
• The importance of free play for exploration and creativity. Specialization too early can limit growth and result in a fragile identity. Magness stresses the importance of unstructured play, where kids can experiment freely without the pressure of parent or coach-led instruction. It also prevents kids from building their entire identity around one sport.
• Allowing kids to experience and process failure. Parents and coaches should know when to step back and allow kids to experience setbacks. “If we don’t do the reps on the mental training, on the psychology, on the dealing with failure, on the dealing with tough situations, we never develop those coping strategies to get through it,” Magness says. This process helps kids build valuable coping skills.

Lessons for athletes: When you set outcome-based goals, reaching them can leave you asking, "Now what?" Instead, focus on growth and process to create ongoing improvement.

Failure is inevitable. It is important to experience setbacks to learn how to cope, respond and move forward.

Lessons for parents: Encouraging internal motivation over external rewards will foster long-term engagement and love for a sport. To support this, allow children to face failure on their own, without jumping in to help. This might be uncomfortable, but it will ultimately help your child learn how to deal with setbacks, develop coping skills and decide how to move forward independently. This will set them up for success when they face failure and you aren't there to help.

Lessons for coaches: Set clear expectations and standards for athletes while also reminding them that you care about their development not only as players, but as people. Promoting a process-oriented mindset over outcome-based goals will help athletes maintain more consistent growth.