Remember those old sports movies like "A League of Their Own" with Tom Hanks barking orders and making grown women cry? Back then, that kind of "tough love" coaching seemed normal, even encouraged. We all had a coach like that growing up, right? Yelling, constant criticism...it was all part of building character, or so they said.
But here's the thing: times have changed.
Is "tough love" still the answer?
✨Today we know more about the impact of coaching styles on young athletes. While some kids might thrive under a demanding coach, for many, it can be detrimental, leading to anxiety, burnout, and a negative association with sports.
I hear it from the kids all the time.
"He is always yelling at me!! Blames the loss of the game on ME for dropping a fly ball!"
"She screams at me for dropping a pass that if one of the starters dropped it, she wouldn't say a word. Talk about having favorites!"
"He only looks at me when we make a mistake and screams at me for not focusing or paying attention! I AM focusing, I swear! He just doesn't see it!"
"Coach tells us how much he loves our team but then bought us bagels and dumped them in the garbage right in front of us because we made a dumb social media post. I said I was sorry!"
"He curses at the ref, at us, at everyone, but then gets mad when we get out of control and yell and curse! Such a hypocrite!"
👉But here's the thing: they often win. A lot. Which leaves us wondering, is their win-at-all-costs mentality, complete with the yelling, actually effective?
For some kids, it is. But for others, it can be a recipe for burnout and low self-esteem. So, how do we help our young athletes navigate this coaching style? Here are some tips:
