My 13-Year-Old Chose Not to Play School Soccer—And Her Reason Surprised Me

If you looked at my daughter’s sports résumé, you’d assume she’d be playing school soccer this fall.

She played on the team last year.

She’s on a competitive travel team.

She trains year-round.

Soccer is her sport.

But this fall, she’s not suiting up for school soccer.

She’s joining the cross country team instead.

Yep. She’s never run on a team before. She doesn’t have a background in distance running. But she said something that stopped me in my tracks:

“I want to see if I’m good at running.”

And I heard the unspoken part too: I need a break from soccer ... but I’m not done being an athlete.

Here’s the full picture: her travel soccer season starts in August with practices three nights a week and weekend games that often require long travel. If she were to do school soccer too, it would mean five days a week of after school practices and games on top of her travel schedule.

That’s not balance. That’s burnout on a calendar.

So she made a bold choice: to trade school soccer for school cross country. A completely different challenge. A brand new sport. A team of girls she doesn’t know yet.

No promise of playing time. No guarantee she’ll be great at it.

Just the desire to try.

And later this fall, once soccer is well underway, she’ll also start her travel volleyball season in November. Yes, she wants to do both. And honestly? I support it.

She’s 13. She loves volleyball. She’s curious. And I don’t believe a 13-year-old should be told to choose one sport or one identity when she’s still figuring out who she is.

As a sports mom and a mental performance coach, I talk about balance and burnout all the time. But this season has reminded me: Balance doesn’t always mean cutting things out, it means making space for what lights them up.

And protecting that light when things start to dim.

I’m proud of her for choosing differently.

I’m proud of her for choosing herself.

If your athlete is navigating a big decision, or if you’re wondering whether to push or pause, come hang with me on Instagram @leahjantzen or email me at headcoachleah@gmail.com. I share what I’m learning as a mom, coach, and human just trying to do this sports life well.