The Sports Life: Understanding the game within the game

There’s the game everyone sees; the one with the score, the stats, the final result.

And then there’s the game within the game. The one that really matters.

That’s the one I watch.

When my son lines up for the 1,600 after staying up late to finish AP homework, I’m not focused on the clock. I’m watching how he handles pressure. How he stays composed when his legs are shot and there's still a lap to go. I’m watching how he digs when no one’s cheering and no one’s watching.

When my daughter fights for minutes on a competitive girls' lacrosse team, I’m not worried about her number of touches. I’m watching how she responds after a turnover. Does she sprint back on defense or hang her head? Does she stay engaged when she’s not starting? Does she bring energy to the huddle even when things aren’t going her way?

That’s the real scoreboard.

The game within the game is where they build patience, grit and leadership. It’s where they learn how to stay in it when they don’t feel seen or celebrated. And that’s exactly what they’ll need when life gets hard—when they’re overlooked at work, when things don’t go as planned, when no one’s handing them the win.

So if you’re watching your kid this weekend and the game feels like a struggle … zoom out.

Ask yourself: What else is happening here?

Because if you look closely, you’ll see it.

They’re learning how to stay in the fight.

And that’s a win every time.