Parents Need to Let Kids Experience Sports And Stop Showing Up for Everything

These days, it feels like parents are expected to be at every single thing their kids do. Every game, every meet, every practice. If we miss one, we feel guilty, like we’re letting our kids down or not showing enough support.

But maybe it’s time to rethink that.

Abby Wambach and Julie Foudy recently talked about how parents should drop their kids off at practice and not stay. Let them play, make mistakes and figure things out without you watching from the sidelines. That really stuck with me, because it’s not just about practice, it’s about how we raise confident, independent kids.

Our kids need to own their experiences.

They don’t need us cheering at every moment. 

They don’t need to scan the bleachers looking for us after every play.

What they really need is to know that we trust them; and that we have our own lives, too.

My neighbor had a massage scheduled at the same time as her daughter’s JV volleyball game. She didn’t cancel it. She went to the game afterward. And I thought, "YES!" That’s what balance looks like.

It’s okay to put yourself first sometimes. 

It’s okay to take a walk, grab coffee with a friend or rest at home instead of going to every single event. Your kid will be fine. In fact, they’ll learn something important from it; that parents have goals, hobbies and needs of their own.

Support isn’t about being there for every moment. It’s about showing up in the right ways like listening, encouraging and connecting when it counts. It’s the conversations after the game, the car rides when they open up, the quiet moments when they know you believe in them.

That’s what sticks.

When we model what a full, balanced life looks like, our kids learn to build their own. They see that love isn’t measured in attendance, it’s shown through trust, support and the freedom to grow.

The Bigger Picture

At Youth Inc., we focus on helping parents and kids build strength; not just physically, but mentally. That starts with giving them space to grow and giving ourselves permission to breathe. When we take care of our own lives, our kids learn to take care of theirs.

It’s something I talk about a lot on my podcast, Still in the Game. I love talking with moms, athletes and coaches about staying driven, passionate and healthy while still living your own story. Because when we keep playing our game, our kids learn how to play theirs.

So go ahead and miss a game once in a while. Keep your massage. Take a nap. You’re still their biggest supporter. And maybe even a stronger one.