The ones who’ve spent half their lives on fields and courts and in gyms, grinding through the quiet moments no one sees. The ones who said no to sleepovers, who missed birthdays and school dances and holidays because there was always a tournament. The ones who trained when no one was watching, who believed that maybe, if they worked hard enough for long enough, this day would mean something.
And for years, June 15 lived in the distance.
The day college coaches could finally contact them. The moment their futures would begin.
As it gets closer, the pressure builds—quietly, but steadily. Phones are charged. Ringers on. Emails checked. Texts refreshed. Hope tucked just beneath the surface. Not too obvious. But there.
And for us, their parents—we are holding our breath too. Not always visibly. But it’s there. Absolutely. After everything we’ve seen our kids pour into this, after all the sacrifice and resilience and belief, we are right there with them—hoping, waiting, willing the phone to buzz.
Because whether we say it out loud or not, our kids and us have turned June 15 into something massive. Into judgment day.
And too often, most of the time, there’s nothing. No text. No email. No call.
Just silence.
And the sinking fear that it’s never going to work out. And that fear is typically correct.
“Eighty percent of athletes won’t hear a thing on June 15,” says Sam Greene, former associate head coach and recruiting coordinator for UCLA women’s soccer and current assistant coach with the University of Chicago.
That silence? It doesn’t mean they’re not good enough. It doesn’t mean they’re not wanted. It just means there is still work to be done.
That’s what we forget. Or maybe what we were never told.
June 15 isn’t the finish line.It’s the starting point.
That’s what Max Rooke, Pepperdine women's soccer associate head coach, wants parents and athletes to know. How they respond to this day and how they move forward is what really matters. Rooke explained that nothing is decided on June 15. It may feel like everything’s at stake, but most of what will determine where your child lands hasn’t happened yet. “When you look at it like it's the beginning—the beginning of the journey—then it really takes the pressure off June 15," he said. "All the work up to that point—emails, training, games, tournaments—that’s the preparation to
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start
the real journey.”
I know this firsthand. Even if you hear from coaches.
Both of my daughters heard from college coaches on June 15. One got a text at midnight from a Power 5 school and a few emails from smaller schools the next day. The other had several Division 1 programs reach out via email, text and one call on the 15th. They took the calls. They did the follow-up. And none of it led to where they eventually landed.
One committed five months later. The other didn’t commit until more than a year after June 15—and not to any of the programs that contacted her on that day.
Both journeys were long. Both had detours, disappointments, and hard decisions. But both worked out beautifully, in their own time.
And that’s the lesson I wish I had understood then:
Whether you hear something, or not on June 15, the journey is just getting started.
What happens next—what your child does with the days that follow—is what truly shapes their path.
Most Players Hear Nothing—And That’s OK
Volleyball recruiting expert Dianne DeNecochea works directly with families through her company, Proactive Volleyball, helping athletes navigate every stage of the recruiting process with clarity and confidence. She has guided hundreds of families through this process. She knows exactly how much weight June 15 carries—and how unsettling it can feel when the day passes without a message or a call.
She’s quick to remind parents that not hearing from a coach on June 15 has nothing to do with their child’s talent or potential. It’s not a verdict. And it’s certainly not a forecast of where they’ll end up.
So much of the pressure, she says, doesn’t actually come from the recruiting process itself—it comes from everything surrounding it: the conversations on the sidelines, the group texts, the social media posts. “It creates this false scoreboard,” she explains. “But that’s not reality.”
DeNecochea echoes what Rooke stated, what matters most is the next steps. And as parents we need to be thoughtful about the hours and days that follow. And sometimes, that starts by simply giving kids the space to feel the sting. “Let them be upset. Let them feel it,” she says. “It’s scary and it hurts. But then remind them—that doesn’t cancel the whole story.”
Because the story isn’t over.
“Sometimes the things we want are harder than we thought,” says DeNecochea. But that doesn’t mean we stop. You adjust, reach out again, try different schools. You open yourself to a bigger picture.”
For parents, that might be the most important role of all—helping their kids remember that this is one moment, not the defining one. And that there are still more doors waiting to be opened.
A Shifting Landscape
This year’s June 15 arrives during a major turning point in college sports. A newly approved NCAA settlement will allow schools to pay athletes directly, ending the amateurism model that’s defined recruiting for over a century.
While much of the attention has focused on football and basketball, the impact will ripple down to every sport. Roster sizes will be capped. More athletes may receive scholarships. But at the same time, there could be fewer total opportunities—especially for walk-ons and developmental players—as schools reshape how they manage scholarships, playing time and budgets.
For families, it means the recruiting process is becoming even more competitive—and even less predictable. But it also means that fit, academics and adaptability matter more than ever.
Sam Greene, assistant women’s soccer coach at the University of Chicago, sees this play out every year.
Since only 80% approximately will hear from a college on June 15, that silence doesn’t mean they’re not good enough. It doesn’t mean they won’t get recruited. It just means this takes time. Greene says recruiting isn’t just about athletic ability. ‘It’s about persistence. Thoughtful outreach. Doing your homework," she says. "And keeping your options open and most importantly, If you earn the grades, you earn choices.”
A Guide for Parents
If June 15 ends in silence or not as planned, here are a few tips:
1. Normalize the silence.
Remind them that most athletes won’t hear anything on June 15. As Greene said, it’s not a reflection of who they are as a person or a player—it’s just how the process works. For most, this is only the beginning.
2. Widen the lens.
Help them expand their list beyond Division I. D2, D3, NAIA and even club teams offer meaningful opportunities. All the experts I spoke with stressed, it’s never too late to add schools onto your list. Greene encourages athletes to keep all levels on the table—Division I, II, III and even NAIA. With roster spots tightening and athletic budgets shifting, she says families who limit their search to just one level may miss out on some of the best opportunities. There’s high-level soccer and strong academic options across every division.
3. Tune out the noise.
DeNecochea calls the June 15 buzz a “false scoreboard.” Social media makes it seem like everyone is getting recruited. The truth is, most are not. Help your athlete stay in their own lane.
4. Refocus the energy.
Once they’re ready, help them take productive steps. Here are Greene’s suggestions:
Send a LOT more emails. Add at least 10–15 programs, across divisions. Be open and encourage your kids to be open to all levels.
Keep it concise and include:
A short (under 3-minute) highlight video link—no downloads–just links to make it easier. And show both offense and defense and off the ball.
Put all your highlights in bullet points—things like SoCal ODP, varsity for three years, CIF Second Team, your club coach’s contact. That format makes it quick for us to scan.
Club name, age group and contact info for both the player and their club coach so it’s easy to find and most of that should be on your subject line.
Sam encourages athletes to include a brief, thoughtful note about why they’re genuinely interested in the school—and how they might fit into the program’s style of play. “I’m passionate about soccer and would love to connect with your program,” she suggests saying. “Here’s what I bring, and based on the way your team plays, I believe I could be a good positional fit because you do XYZ.” A message like this shows real intention—and helps coaches see where you might belong.
Don’t assume a coach wants to jump on a call immediately—but make it easy if they do. Greene advises rather than pushing for a phone call too soon, ending the email with a softer call to action. An example would be: “Thank you for your time and consideration. I’ve included my contact information below, along with my coach’s, if you'd like to connect.” Then, simply list your cell number, your email, and your club coach’s name and phone number underneath your name. No pressure, just access—so the coach can reach out in the way that works best for them.
5. Prioritize being seen. Greene reminds families that being recruited from the couch isn’t realistic. Camps, showcases and being seen in person still matter. If they’re serious about a school, make plans to attend a camp this summer.
6. Reframe the day. As Rooke puts it, “June 15 isn’t the finish line. It’s the starting point.” Repeat it. Write it on a Post-it. Build the tone in your home around that message. This is not the day that defines them—it’s one day in a long and unfolding process.
7. Stay steady. Your kids will take their cues from you. If you spiral, they will too. If you hold perspective and keep moving forward, they’ll begin to do the same.
8. Keep the momentum going. As DeNecochea says: “Sometimes the things we want are harder than we thought. But that doesn’t mean we stop.” Encourage them to keep reaching out, keep working and stay open.
It’s Not the End—Just the Beginning
So whether the phone rings or it doesn’t…
Whether your child gets ten texts or none at all…
Know this:
June 15 was never the measure of their worth.
It’s just a moment.
One that might open a door—or one that reminds them to keep knocking.
Asia Mape is a four-time Emmy Award-winning journalist, Sports Television Producer, former Division I athlete and the founder of I Love To Watch You Play, a platform dedicated to helping families navigate the youth sports journey with insight, honesty and heart. She’s worked for leading sports networks including Fox Sports, ESPN, TNT, NFL Network and NBC Sports, covering five Olympics, multiple NBA playoffs, and two Super Bowls. Now a mom to three daughters who’ve all played competitive sports, Asia blends her professional storytelling background and personal experience to support parents and spark meaningful change in youth sports.
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