Be a Better Sports Parent, Coach or Athlete—Quick Takeaways From Our Conversation With Tom Farrey

The Big Idea

How did we get here?

One generation ago, youth sports were dominated by community leagues, open fields and kids playing until the streetlights came on. Today, they’re structured, expensive and often exclusionary—and that shift wasn’t random.

In this Youth Inc. episode, Aspen Institute's Tom Farrey breaks down how we lost our way, what we can learn from other countries and why solving this mess isn’t about blaming parents—it’s about building a better system around them.

Whether you're wondering how we fix youth sports—or how to survive them—this is a must-listen.

What Stuck With Us

“In one generation, we went from unstructured play to four seasons a year.”
Farrey talks about watching his daughter join a team where 6-year-olds were already playing in their ninth season of soccer. It was a wake-up call—and the beginning of his mission to fix the system.

“Most parents aren’t crazy. They’re just reacting to a broken model.”
Farrey isn’t here to blame parents. He’s here to explain why they feel trapped. Most are doing the best they can in a youth sports landscape that tells them: do more, spend more or fall behind.

“America gets a C.”
Farrey helped lead a global study comparing youth sports systems in 12 countries. The U.S. ranked near the bottom in accessibility and participation. Despite being the biggest sports market in the world, we’re shutting too many kids out.

“Norway has no national championships before age 14.”
Instead of chasing wins, Norway focuses on love of the game. They build a wide base—late specialization, no early ranking, and a youth sports Bill of Rights focused on inclusion and joy. It works. They lead the world in Olympic medal production and child well-being.

“You can’t make a champion—you can only not screw it up.”
Farrey says elite athletes aren’t manufactured. They emerge when you give good kids a strong base, great coaching later and the freedom to figure things out along the way.

Try This

For Parents

• Don't assume more is always better.
  Playing one sport four seasons a year is not a recipe for excellence—it’s a fast track to burnout and injury.
• Push for environments where kids play multiple sports.
  The kids who stay in sports longest—and get the most from them—build wide athletic foundations, not narrow, early specialization.
• Ask your child what they want.
  Instead of chasing the next team or coach, ask: “What would a good season look like to you?” Their answer might surprise you—and realign your whole approach.
• You’re not behind. You’re in a bad system.
  Farrey reminds us: you're not crazy if this feels overwhelming. It’s not a parenting problem. It’s a broken model and we need better community and policy solutions to fix it.

For Coaches and Program Leaders

• Stop rewarding early winners.
  National championships at age 10 reward the kids who developed first—not the ones who'll go the farthest. It also drives exclusion and specialization way too soon.
• Build your program around participation, not elimination.
  Norway has 90%+ youth sport participation. America has just over 50%. If your program is cutting kids or pricing them out, it’s not working.
• Offer guided discovery, not just instruction.
  Give kids space to figure things out. Let them roll down the hill sideways. Let them get messy. That’s how they build creativity, confidence and staying power.
• Rethink success.
  Winning at 12 doesn’t predict anything. But developing physical literacy, joy and resilience? That builds athletes—and people—for life.

Final Thought

You can’t opt out of a broken system unless there’s a better one to opt into. That’s what Farrey is working to build.

And in the meantime, his message is clear: Ask questions. Push back. Stay curious. And most of all—protect your kid’s joy. That’s the real win

🎥 Want more?

Watch the full conversation HERE with Michael Gervais, Greg Olsen and Tom Farrey—there’s so much wisdom, perspective, and insight we couldn’t fit in here. You don’t want to miss it.